most likely not
Been doing better lately…
I have been so busy with work and school… I have almost had no time to myself or for anything I really enjoy. Well, no guiltless time. Whenever I relax, it’s usually only because I’m ignoring some kind of responsibility I should be fulfilling.
Anyway… since I have had next to no time for anything, my mom actually decided that she wanted to help me out. She has been cooking me meals to take with me while I’m out at school/work all day. They have really helped me control my eating. I think I do well when I don’t have to think about feeding myself because then I overthink it or go too crazy with it. Too much or too little food… idk…
I was a little hesitant to accept her help at first because I didn’t want to put her through the trouble, but she really seemed to want to help me. I really appreciate it. I really, really do. She has no idea what a BIG help that one thing has been. A load off my mind. One less thing. She wakes up in the morning and cooks for me. That is incredibly sweet of her.
It’s true what they say. You’ll never find someone who loves you as much as your mom.
I love you too, mom. <3
I was so tired driving home from school today. I have this horrible pain in my jaw since my wisdom teeth are coming out. I was in a pretty unpleasant mood. At one of the stop lights, I saw a man selling roses. I bought some for my mom. Even though I was feeling pretty crappy, I wanted to get her a little something to let her know that I appreciate her.
Anyway… I’m exhausted. I’m signing out for the night.
Good night, tumblr <3
Mom found me eating ice cream today and freaked out on me. She just wouldn’t leave me alone. She got mad at me.
I know she means well, but it just does more harm than good.
Is there such a thing as loving someone to death?
She just wouldn’t leave me a lone about it. She started saying stuff about dieting and diabetes and asking me if I wanted to end up like my fat friends. Saying that she is just trying to look out for me because people in this society treat fat people differently.
She shouldn’t have been surprised with what she found later. That’s what happens when you make me feel like a horrible person for not caring if I eat ice cream.
It makes me feel better about it, though…
It makes me feel better…
If it’s so bad…
Why does it make me feel better?
I’ve Been Thinking…
… about going back on my new year’s resolution.
I would continue to try to eat healthier and run…
but… days like this make me want to go back on it so badly…
This thought has been running around in my head ever since I fucking started this year…… … … … … … … not to mention every time I get on the scale and read that horrible number… or every time I notice the rolls in my tummy when I slouch… uuugh…
but I promised everyone that I would be healthy….
I promised…
My word is my bond…
fuck.
